第19章 安慰伤心男人
小屋內，孩子的啜泣声没持续太久。
高枝搂著温言，安慰性地拍抚孩子瘦弱的肩膀，期间没过问一句从前的事。
她知道，孩子虽小，心却积攒了伤痛，时日久了，结了痂，形成一层雪冻住的枷锁，无法消融。
若让他敞开心扉，便是强行迫他撕开那层结好的痂。
高枝不愿让温言难受。
“不管从前如何，如今有娘在这儿，你不用害怕了。”
“娘……”
温言肩膀抽搐，像是想起了最撕心裂肺的记忆，泪如雨下，“可是您还会离开言儿的……”
“不会的。”
高枝將人抱得更紧，料想这孩子是没忘记生母如何离去，不禁感到心酸，“我不会走，不会离开你，言儿放心。”
“娘之前也说不会，可还是走了。”
温言嚎啕出来：“言儿好害怕，言儿不想当哥哥，当哥哥好辛苦，阿弟阿妹吃不饱，言儿把吃的都让给他们，
可言儿真的好饿，言儿饿得睡不著觉，饿得肚子好痛。”
高枝一愣，“言儿之前都將吃的都让给弟妹吗？”
“嗯……”
温言抽噎道：“父亲带著我们逃亡，一路上…我们常躲在偏僻的地方，找不到吃的，父亲身上没多少盘缠…都拿给我们买吃的，
父亲的腿伤得好重好重，却没钱去治…弟妹不够吃，我只能…只能將吃的都让给他们。”
高枝试想过鄷彻逃亡这一年会很艰难，却没想到他惨到连治病的钱都拿不出。
几个孩子嗷嗷待哺，吃都吃不饱，还要躲避追杀，披荆斩棘赶回京城。
在这般处境下，他的腿才会坏成那样。
难怪，她在城门下见到的鄷彻才那般瘦削黯然。
前世，她就是在他那般惨澹的处境下，毅然同他割袍断婚。
可想而知，他当时有多难过。
高枝听著孩子泣不成声，也不禁鼻头一酸，柔下声引导：“可如今，府上不再缺食物了，阿言为何不吃？”
“我不知道…我真的不知道。”
温言无措地抓住高枝衣袖，“我好像成了怪人，母亲，我不会饿，看著这些吃的，就想起先前饭不够吃的时候，
有时勉强吃下去，肚子就不舒服，好像要撑开了，阿言好怕…怕自己会死掉。”
高枝揉著男孩儿的脑袋，“有母亲在，你不会死，也不是怪人，你只是病了，
我会帮你调理好身体，言儿，相信母亲，日后在王府，不会有人再欺负薄待了你去。”
温言扎进高枝怀里，用力点头。
“主子……”
苍朮一声呼唤，才让门外僵硬许久的鄷彻回过头来。
“属下失职，竟没发觉那几个嬤嬤如此欺压两位公子。”
苍朮攥著拳，想起方才隨鄷彻入內时，几个嬤嬤还在告高枝的状，邀功自己是连家老人，不可受此大刑。
现在想来，打板子都是轻的。
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“板子照打，扔回连家，同习老夫人说明。”
鄷彻落音，屋门正好从里头被打开。
对上高枝怀中哭得肿成桃子眼的男孩儿，鄷彻心口被人重击了一般，思及亡友嘱託，苦涩与后悔在胸口翻滚。
【我怎么这样蠢。】
【竟没发觉言儿一个人受了这么多委屈。】
高枝瞧著男人眸底黯然和愧疚交织，一时间不知该如何开口。
鄷彻抬起的手掌隱隱发抖，朝温言的方向招了招，又落了下来，“是父亲对不住你，言儿。”
“不是的。”
温言连忙跑过去，抓住鄷彻的手，意料不到自己说的话让鄷彻听到了，“父亲当时將所有吃的都给了我们，
您自己吃不饱，还去挖野草充飢，您的腿也没钱去医治，是我们几个拖累了您……”
鄷彻覆住男孩儿的脑袋，將孩子抱住，唇瓣发抖，“对不起。”
见男人红了眼眶，高枝也不禁喉咙发涩。
温言哭了好一阵，高枝將人哄睡后出门，苍朮上前稟话：“王妃，主子已经將人都遣回连家了。”
高枝见男人不在院中，料想他此刻心情定是不好，不愿让她看到狼狈模样。
“温行院的下人，我全都会换，让他…不用担心这个。”
苍朮复杂点头，“是，也多亏了王妃您，主子这一路，的確是吃了很多苦。”
院子里没其他人。
或许，这是最適合问清这一切的时机。
“苍朮。”
高枝上前一步，“我知鄷彻没有叛国，你能不能告诉我，这一年究竟发生了什么？”
苍朮皱眉，想起三个孩子的身世，主子並未容许他们將实情告诉高枝，只能挑著能说的来。
“一年前，我们的人胜券在握，眼看著就要大败辽人，可不知为何，辽人竟发现军营囤积粮草之地，火烧之，
没了粮草，將士们很艰难，辽人最后一次袭城，主子拼尽全力保护百姓，击退辽人，重伤昏死过去，
属下等人找到主子的时候，他的腿已经…站不起来了，太原城中忽然散布出主子弃城而逃的消息，
吾等想归城之际，却有眾多刺客追杀阻挠，我们回不去，主子重伤，还带著三个孩子，只能躲藏一年，
期间朱家带兵赶到，击退大辽，我们身上没有盘缠，实在是…窘迫，主子节衣缩食，將食物让给孩子们，风餐露宿，
被追杀时，腿骨多次断裂，大夫曾言，若当时早早治疗，不会到如今这一步。”
从苍朮口中，听到更详细的情况后，高枝不免倒吸了一口凉气。
苍朮瞧高枝眼睛都红了，小声说：“王妃別难受，如今主子回京了，怀安王府基业深厚，主子和孩子们再也不会吃苦，
官家也是体恤主子的，光是大婚的赏赐，就数不胜数。”
高枝听到这些，沉重心情並未缓解。
倘若…倘若她早就知道，兴许能助他。
不至於如此潦倒……
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入夜后，高枝盯著小厨房给温言做了些清淡菜餚，比起基本没动的午饭，温言晚饭吃得多了些，但比起同样年纪的孩子，食量还是小。
担心人夜里会饿，高枝吩咐百合做了些对脾胃好的大耐糕，送去给温言和温汀，不免想起白日里瞧见鄷彻那受伤的眼神。
她心里总放不下。
於是拎著多出来的糕点，又去了鄷彻的书房。
仍是烛火通明，映出男人端正坐姿，头略疲倦地靠在椅背上。
高枝入屋后，真切感受到对方周身縈绕的落寞。
“怎么过来了?”
鄷彻没听到传报，待脚步声靠近才將闔上的眼睁开，见烛火辉映下女子顰蹙眉眼，哑声问：“遇到什么事了吗？”
分明心头难受得很，反而过来问她有没有事。
“是我想问你。”
高枝走过去，“鄷彻，你有事吗？”
鄷彻一愣，许是太久没人用这样的语气和距离关心他，一时间，喉咙哽塞，不知该回答什么。
“我知道，你心里不好受。”
高枝委婉道：“言儿这孩子懂事，许多事情瞒著你，也是不想让你担心，他很重视你这个父亲，也想替你分担。”
“我知道，言儿很懂事，反而是我。”
鄷彻苦涩扯动嘴角，“我太疏忽了他。”
“怎么会是你的错呢。”
高枝摇头，“鄷彻，你带著他们逃亡，力所能及给他们活下去的希望，你怎么能责怪自己。”
“是我不够细心。”
鄷彻犹记潜入太原城中，几个孩子趴在嫂子尸身上哭泣。
嫂子一封血书託孤，温大哥临死前的嘱託，歷歷在目。
他晚了一步，没有挽救嫂子的性命，从那刻起就发誓要照顾好几个孩子。
【终究是我…太无用了。】
【为何没早些发现……】
“鄷彻。”
男人抬首，却觉额心一疼。
高枝附身撑在桌案上，弹了下他的额头，是提醒：“世上没有人一生下来就会做父母。”
他微微一愣。
“孩子虽年幼无知，可父亲也是第一次当父亲，岂能样样周全。”
高枝眸底柔和瀲灩，引鄷彻心尖颤了颤。
“所以別自责，一个好父亲，是陪著孩子一块长大的。”
鄷彻神色呈现出些许茫然和无措，倒和高枝记忆中的少年人有些相似了，面上总是波澜不惊的人，心底实也易脆弱，也有希望人保护的时候。
他平日里再如何逞强，再如何优越，终究只是个二十出头的年轻人。
而他所经歷的，已比同龄的年轻人多了太多。
“我也是第一次当母亲。”
高枝扬起唇角，俯身抱住男人。
“我们一起保护孩子，一起长大吧。”
鄷彻被女子柔软怀抱包裹住，馨香流连在他鼻息之间，予他安全感，也引得他血脉沸腾，身躯僵硬起来。
【阿枝…这是什么意思？】
【一起陪孩子长大，要许久许久……】
【她是想要…和我长久待在一起吗？】
【这是…梦吗？】
高枝搂著温言，安慰性地拍抚孩子瘦弱的肩膀，期间没过问一句从前的事。
她知道，孩子虽小，心却积攒了伤痛，时日久了，结了痂，形成一层雪冻住的枷锁，无法消融。
若让他敞开心扉，便是强行迫他撕开那层结好的痂。
高枝不愿让温言难受。
“不管从前如何，如今有娘在这儿，你不用害怕了。”
“娘……”
温言肩膀抽搐，像是想起了最撕心裂肺的记忆，泪如雨下，“可是您还会离开言儿的……”
“不会的。”
高枝將人抱得更紧，料想这孩子是没忘记生母如何离去，不禁感到心酸，“我不会走，不会离开你，言儿放心。”
“娘之前也说不会，可还是走了。”
温言嚎啕出来：“言儿好害怕，言儿不想当哥哥，当哥哥好辛苦，阿弟阿妹吃不饱，言儿把吃的都让给他们，
可言儿真的好饿，言儿饿得睡不著觉，饿得肚子好痛。”
高枝一愣，“言儿之前都將吃的都让给弟妹吗？”
“嗯……”
温言抽噎道：“父亲带著我们逃亡，一路上…我们常躲在偏僻的地方，找不到吃的，父亲身上没多少盘缠…都拿给我们买吃的，
父亲的腿伤得好重好重，却没钱去治…弟妹不够吃，我只能…只能將吃的都让给他们。”
高枝试想过鄷彻逃亡这一年会很艰难，却没想到他惨到连治病的钱都拿不出。
几个孩子嗷嗷待哺，吃都吃不饱，还要躲避追杀，披荆斩棘赶回京城。
在这般处境下，他的腿才会坏成那样。
难怪，她在城门下见到的鄷彻才那般瘦削黯然。
前世，她就是在他那般惨澹的处境下，毅然同他割袍断婚。
可想而知，他当时有多难过。
高枝听著孩子泣不成声，也不禁鼻头一酸，柔下声引导：“可如今，府上不再缺食物了，阿言为何不吃？”
“我不知道…我真的不知道。”
温言无措地抓住高枝衣袖，“我好像成了怪人，母亲，我不会饿，看著这些吃的，就想起先前饭不够吃的时候，
有时勉强吃下去，肚子就不舒服，好像要撑开了，阿言好怕…怕自己会死掉。”
高枝揉著男孩儿的脑袋，“有母亲在，你不会死，也不是怪人，你只是病了，
我会帮你调理好身体，言儿，相信母亲，日后在王府，不会有人再欺负薄待了你去。”
温言扎进高枝怀里，用力点头。
“主子……”
苍朮一声呼唤，才让门外僵硬许久的鄷彻回过头来。
“属下失职，竟没发觉那几个嬤嬤如此欺压两位公子。”
苍朮攥著拳，想起方才隨鄷彻入內时，几个嬤嬤还在告高枝的状，邀功自己是连家老人，不可受此大刑。
现在想来，打板子都是轻的。
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“板子照打，扔回连家，同习老夫人说明。”
鄷彻落音，屋门正好从里头被打开。
对上高枝怀中哭得肿成桃子眼的男孩儿，鄷彻心口被人重击了一般，思及亡友嘱託，苦涩与后悔在胸口翻滚。
【我怎么这样蠢。】
【竟没发觉言儿一个人受了这么多委屈。】
高枝瞧著男人眸底黯然和愧疚交织，一时间不知该如何开口。
鄷彻抬起的手掌隱隱发抖，朝温言的方向招了招，又落了下来，“是父亲对不住你，言儿。”
“不是的。”
温言连忙跑过去，抓住鄷彻的手，意料不到自己说的话让鄷彻听到了，“父亲当时將所有吃的都给了我们，
您自己吃不饱，还去挖野草充飢，您的腿也没钱去医治，是我们几个拖累了您……”
鄷彻覆住男孩儿的脑袋，將孩子抱住，唇瓣发抖，“对不起。”
见男人红了眼眶，高枝也不禁喉咙发涩。
温言哭了好一阵，高枝將人哄睡后出门，苍朮上前稟话：“王妃，主子已经將人都遣回连家了。”
高枝见男人不在院中，料想他此刻心情定是不好，不愿让她看到狼狈模样。
“温行院的下人，我全都会换，让他…不用担心这个。”
苍朮复杂点头，“是，也多亏了王妃您，主子这一路，的確是吃了很多苦。”
院子里没其他人。
或许，这是最適合问清这一切的时机。
“苍朮。”
高枝上前一步，“我知鄷彻没有叛国，你能不能告诉我，这一年究竟发生了什么？”
苍朮皱眉，想起三个孩子的身世，主子並未容许他们將实情告诉高枝，只能挑著能说的来。
“一年前，我们的人胜券在握，眼看著就要大败辽人，可不知为何，辽人竟发现军营囤积粮草之地，火烧之，
没了粮草，將士们很艰难，辽人最后一次袭城，主子拼尽全力保护百姓，击退辽人，重伤昏死过去，
属下等人找到主子的时候，他的腿已经…站不起来了，太原城中忽然散布出主子弃城而逃的消息，
吾等想归城之际，却有眾多刺客追杀阻挠，我们回不去，主子重伤，还带著三个孩子，只能躲藏一年，
期间朱家带兵赶到，击退大辽，我们身上没有盘缠，实在是…窘迫，主子节衣缩食，將食物让给孩子们，风餐露宿，
被追杀时，腿骨多次断裂，大夫曾言，若当时早早治疗，不会到如今这一步。”
从苍朮口中，听到更详细的情况后，高枝不免倒吸了一口凉气。
苍朮瞧高枝眼睛都红了，小声说：“王妃別难受，如今主子回京了，怀安王府基业深厚，主子和孩子们再也不会吃苦，
官家也是体恤主子的，光是大婚的赏赐，就数不胜数。”
高枝听到这些，沉重心情並未缓解。
倘若…倘若她早就知道，兴许能助他。
不至於如此潦倒……
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入夜后，高枝盯著小厨房给温言做了些清淡菜餚，比起基本没动的午饭，温言晚饭吃得多了些，但比起同样年纪的孩子，食量还是小。
担心人夜里会饿，高枝吩咐百合做了些对脾胃好的大耐糕，送去给温言和温汀，不免想起白日里瞧见鄷彻那受伤的眼神。
她心里总放不下。
於是拎著多出来的糕点，又去了鄷彻的书房。
仍是烛火通明，映出男人端正坐姿，头略疲倦地靠在椅背上。
高枝入屋后，真切感受到对方周身縈绕的落寞。
“怎么过来了?”
鄷彻没听到传报，待脚步声靠近才將闔上的眼睁开，见烛火辉映下女子顰蹙眉眼，哑声问：“遇到什么事了吗？”
分明心头难受得很，反而过来问她有没有事。
“是我想问你。”
高枝走过去，“鄷彻，你有事吗？”
鄷彻一愣，许是太久没人用这样的语气和距离关心他，一时间，喉咙哽塞，不知该回答什么。
“我知道，你心里不好受。”
高枝委婉道：“言儿这孩子懂事，许多事情瞒著你，也是不想让你担心，他很重视你这个父亲，也想替你分担。”
“我知道，言儿很懂事，反而是我。”
鄷彻苦涩扯动嘴角，“我太疏忽了他。”
“怎么会是你的错呢。”
高枝摇头，“鄷彻，你带著他们逃亡，力所能及给他们活下去的希望，你怎么能责怪自己。”
“是我不够细心。”
鄷彻犹记潜入太原城中，几个孩子趴在嫂子尸身上哭泣。
嫂子一封血书託孤，温大哥临死前的嘱託，歷歷在目。
他晚了一步，没有挽救嫂子的性命，从那刻起就发誓要照顾好几个孩子。
【终究是我…太无用了。】
【为何没早些发现……】
“鄷彻。”
男人抬首，却觉额心一疼。
高枝附身撑在桌案上，弹了下他的额头，是提醒：“世上没有人一生下来就会做父母。”
他微微一愣。
“孩子虽年幼无知，可父亲也是第一次当父亲，岂能样样周全。”
高枝眸底柔和瀲灩，引鄷彻心尖颤了颤。
“所以別自责，一个好父亲，是陪著孩子一块长大的。”
鄷彻神色呈现出些许茫然和无措，倒和高枝记忆中的少年人有些相似了，面上总是波澜不惊的人，心底实也易脆弱，也有希望人保护的时候。
他平日里再如何逞强，再如何优越，终究只是个二十出头的年轻人。
而他所经歷的，已比同龄的年轻人多了太多。
“我也是第一次当母亲。”
高枝扬起唇角，俯身抱住男人。
“我们一起保护孩子，一起长大吧。”
鄷彻被女子柔软怀抱包裹住，馨香流连在他鼻息之间，予他安全感，也引得他血脉沸腾，身躯僵硬起来。
【阿枝…这是什么意思？】
【一起陪孩子长大，要许久许久……】
【她是想要…和我长久待在一起吗？】
【这是…梦吗？】